The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy

Helping therapists on their leading edge of learning so they can help clients on their leading edge of healing. In each episode, we try to focus on parts/moments of the counseling experience through the lens of Emotionally Focused Therapy, developed by Sue Johnson. We share how we are being pushed in our growth process and things we are learning from our clients in their growth process. We are also thankful for the many EFTSupervisors and Trainers who share their learning nuggets with us to pass on to you. We invite you into a brave space as we all push our leading edges of learning and healing.

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Episodes

25 minutes ago

134. Stage 2 Mini Series-Caregiver Nightmares: Being Ready for the Predictable Worst Case Scenarios

25 minutes ago

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other.
In this episode of “Push the Leading Edge”, James Hawkins and Ryan Rana dive into one of the most anxiety‑provoking parts of EFT: when the caregiving system red-lights right in the middle of beautiful vulnerability. Drawing on attachment theory and years of EFT training experience, they explore “caregiving nightmares”—those predictable moments when a partner can’t respond with comfort, even when their loved one is wide open and reaching.
They unpack how pursuers and withdrawers each bring their attachment strategies into the caregiving role: withdrawers often “loan out their avoidance” as a form of love, and pursuers “up the ante” as their way of fighting for the bond. Rather than shaming these moves or bypassing them to “get to the heart,” James and Ryan show how to move toward the blocks themselves as emotional material, validating the attachment logic inside them and using structured, attuned interventions to help partners reclaim their caregiving systems.
With rich clinical examples, regulation strategies for therapists, and practical language you can use tomorrow, this episode helps you trust the process, trust the caregiving system, and stay with the red lights long enough for new attachment experiences to emerge.
Main Points from the Episode
Framing: “Caregiving Nightmares” & Red Lights - Focus on stage 2 / step 6 caregiving positions, and the “back half” of vulnerable enactments.   - The “red light” is the blocked caregiving system: the partner can’t offer simple comfort even when they want to.
Predictable Attachment Patterns in Caregiving - Withdrawers as caregivers: - “Loan out their avoidance” or self-reliance: advice, positivity, “be comfortable in your own skin.” - This is a form of love and responsiveness, but often misattuned. - Pursuers as caregivers: - “Up the ante”: test, push, or kick the tires on vulnerability (“it’s just words,” “you only do this in here”). - Driven by hope and fear of being dropped again.
Therapist Regulation & Preparation - Pre‑regulate before couples sessions; expect blocks as part of the process, not a failure. - If the therapist dysregulates, you now have three protection systems in the room.
Working with Withdrawer Red Lights - Steps: 1. Regulate yourself.    2. Offer an attuned, assertive interruption (contain the cycle).    3. Give 3–5 concrete validations of the withdrawer’s strategy as attachment‑driven care.    4. Reframe the strategy’s attachment function (“this is how you love/protect”).    5. Then gently move toward the part that wants to reach.    - Don’t bypass the strategy; work with it as emotional material.
Working with Pursuer Red Lights - Normalize that pursuers often lash out or test the first vulnerabilities they’ve begged for.   - Validate their vision, hope, and fight for the relationship (3–5 validations).    - Help them notice their somatic/empathic response to the partner’s pain (1% of reach or comfort).    - Avoid shaming language like “you’re going to your head.”
Use of Numbers & Repetition - “Magic” 3–5 validations to regulate a nervous system.   - Sue Johnson’s idea: clients often don’t really hear you until about the 5th repetition.
Tourniquets & Sender Protection - After a strong send + strong red light, layer tourniquets on the sender so they: - Feel caught and not blamed.    - Are reinforced to risk again.    - Never make the sender give up their experience just to soothe the blocked caregiver.
Trusting the Caregiving System - Leanne Campbell’s idea: trusting the process = trusting the caregiving system.   - People do know how to care; the cycle paralyzes access.    - Our job is to create conditions for that caregiving instinct to re‑emerge experientially.
Hope, Respect, and Attachment Change - Both pursuer protest and withdrawer avoidance are hopeful, survival strategies.   - Change often comes through “begrudging respect”: seeing a partner fight their old pattern for the relationship.
We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.
Stay connected with us:
Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge
Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website
James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com
George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com
If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV).
Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

7 days ago

133. Special Guest Episode: Leanne Shares About Her and Sue's EFT Trauma Book

7 days ago

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other.
Link to attend the online broadcast of the book launch
Link to Purchase on Amazon
In this powerful conversation, Dr. James Hawkins sits down with Dr. Leanne Campbell to explore the heart of EFT and trauma and to honor the legacy of Dr. Sue Johnson. Leanne pulls back the curtain on writing the new EFT and Trauma text with Sue—sharing what it was like to co-create Sue’s final formal publication, how their moment‑by‑moment clinical commentary came to life, and why clarity in the model matters now more than ever.
Together, James and Leanne dive into the caregiving system, window of tolerance, and how EFT therapists can help clients move through trauma without retraumatizing, using themselves as temporary attachment figures. You’ll hear vivid clinical language and examples around: trusting the caregiving system, working with highly reactive couples, tracking your own nervous system as a therapist, and using transparency to give traumatized clients back their agency and hope.
This episode is a blend of theory, practical process, and deep emotion—a tribute to Sue’s legacy and an inspiring guide for any therapist working at the leading edge of EFT and trauma.
Main Points / Episode Highlights
Leanne’s “Leading Edge” in EFT
   - Getting radically clear about the model: moment‑by‑moment commentary on what therapists are doing and why.
   - Making EFT more accessible and teachable through precision and process clarity.
Trusting the Caregiving System
   - “Trust the process” = “trust the caregiving system” when emotion and connection are alive in the room.
   - Importance of responding in the same channel as the emotional bid (emotion with emotion, not facts or data).
Working on the EFT and Trauma Text with Sue Johnson
   - The process was inspiring, clarifying, exhilarating, and at times sidelined by other EFiT projects.
   - The book was well underway before Sue’s death and now stands as her last formal publication—a “parting gift” of stories of hope and resilience.
Using the Therapist as a Temporary Attachment Figure
   - Central answer to “How do I help clients move through trauma without retraumatizing them?”
   - Therapist “sings the song and dances the dance of attunement,” keeping clients at their leading edge without overshooting the window of tolerance.
“It Begins With Us” – The Therapist’s Nervous System
   - Leanne tracks her own felt sense—especially with reactive couples—and uses it to guide interventions.
   - She slows things down, names process elements (tone, eyes, posture) to:
     - Validate the receiving partner.
     - Grow awareness in the reactive partner whose nervous system is firing outside awareness.
Window of Tolerance: Respect and Stretch
   - Respecting the window of tolerance while stretching it—within sessions and in the client’s broader socio‑cultural context.
   - Normalizing that trauma work often happens in cycles (do a piece, step back, integrate).
Validation as Psychoeducation
   - Validation reframes trauma responses as survival strategies, not character flaws.
   - Helps the traumatized partner feel understood and the other partner release blame and grow compassion.
Transparency Gives Agency
   - Being explicit about what the therapist is doing and why (“the best surgeon explains the procedure”).
   - Therapist’s transparency and emotional honesty give traumatized clients predictability and agency, reversing their history of non‑transparent harm.
Parts / Versions and Rewriting Identity
   - Leanne’s language of “versions” of self helps distinguish old survival strategies from the current, wiser self.
   - Core EFT aim: “You are not your trauma.” Clients move from “This is who I am” to “This is a fear and a history I carry.”
Hope and Resilience as the Core Message
   - If listeners remember one thing: hope and belief in the power of human connection and healing.
   - The book is intentionally a story of hope and resilience for clinicians and clients, continuing Sue’s attachment legacy.
We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.
Stay connected with us:
Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge
Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website
James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com
George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com
If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV).
Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Thursday Dec 11, 2025

The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy

Episodes

134. Stage 2 Mini Series-Caregiver Nightmares: Being Ready for the Predictable Worst Case Scenarios

133. Special Guest Episode: Leanne Shares About Her and Sue's EFT Trauma Book

132. Another Option w/ Blocks: Externalization in EFT—Guiding Clients Compassionately Into Vulnerability”

131: The Transparent Therapist: Shining Light on Process, Intention, and Connection

130. Stage 2 Mini Series-Caregiver Nightmares: Navigating Red-Light Reactions to Vulnerability

129. Stage 2 Series-Hesitation and Mixed Signals in Step 6-Yellow Lights

128. Stage 2 Series: Cargeiving Cheat Code-We Don't Want Caregiving Perspectives, We Want Caregiving Responsivness

127. Stage 2 Series: Cargiving Response - Step 6 Orientation to Green Lights

126. Stage 2 Series: Enactments-Step 5

125. Stage 2 Series: Accessing and Sharing the Negative View of Self-Important Component of Restructuring the Bond